impact The two sordid murders of which the two young schoolgirls were victims have aroused the turmoil of many parents and teenagers, bringing back the anguish and fears in the families who were able to identify with those of Lola and Vanesa
In front of the college of Tonneins de Vanesa, a 14-year-old girl killed by a 31-year-old man. — MEHDI FEDOUACH/AFP
- In recent weeks, Lola and Vanesa, two young schoolgirls have been victims of sordid murders as they left their school.
- Two news items that have moved the French, especially parents and teenagers who are identified with the two victims and their families.
- For Christine Barois, psychiatrist, it is necessary to talk about it, to also remind children of the safety rules “without creating psychosis”.
- The FCPE asks that the psychological units set up by National Education in the establishments affected be extended to parents, so that they can answer their children's questions in particular.
A month apart, two schoolgirls who were leaving their school after class, in the middle of the day, on a Friday, were arrested. kidnapped and killed by people they had never seen in their lives. The murders of young Lola, ` Paris, on October 14, and that of Vanesa, at; Tonneins, in Lot-et-Garonne, last week shocked the a large part of the French.
Over the course of the reports, the testimonies of parents and teenagers multiplied to express the horror of sordid and incomprehensible crimes. But also their feeling that it could have been “them” Because as Lola’s mother recalled during the white march in homage to his daughter, “Lola, is also the sister, the daughter, the granddaughter of all French women and men. Each and every one of us has felt personally hurt, hurt.””.
” my child”
An identification which is not without consequence on anxiety. young people, but also their parents, can feel. “We all have it in the back of our minds that this can happen, that’s why from an early age we teach them how to do it. not to get into a [stranger's] car, except; be careful. But when you're in 6th or 5th grade, you're a little more naive than when you're in high school, you don't think about anything. malevolence. These miscellaneous facts, and their sequence, bring out in us all the anxieties that we can have, and this puts into perspective the fact that this can happen to us. my child, what can happen to me,” recognizes Isabelle Fery, spokesperson for the federation of parents of public education students (PEEP).< /p>
💬 "Les élèves et les professeurs peuvent manifester leur souhait de parler"
La rectrice de la région académique Nouvelle-Aquitaine évoque les cellules psychologiques mises en place après le meurtre de Vanesa pic.twitter.com/pvmuCh0Rli
— BFMTV (@BFMTV) November 21, 2022
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For this association manager, it is therefore difficult not to project herself. All the more so when the drama happened; in his village, in his establishment. Monday morning, at; Tonneins, there were more parents in Tonneins. accompany their children to Germillac college, the latter mentioning their fear of now making the journey alone. Apprehensions that some of them may have expressed that day. with psychologists from the psychological unit set up by National Education within the college. “There has been crying, emotion, there are questions,” Anne Bisagni-Faure, the rector of the Bordeaux Academy who assured that this system would remain open “as many days as needed”.
In order not to leave the parents alone with their anger, their apprehensions, the town hall of this village of 10,000 inhabitants, helped by volunteers from the Red Cross, also deployed a listening cell where Nearly 70 adults from the town and surrounding areas came, particularly to find out “how to accompany their children”.
Extending psychological cells to parents?
Because, in such situations, it is difficult to always find the right words. “When tragedy strikes, we ask each time a care of the children by the psychologists of the National Education. But we would like this to be extended to parents, who are also often traumatized,” insists Magalie Icher, the president of the FCPE for whom “talking is good therapy”.< /p>
Its association is often approached after this type of event by parents who are helpless in the face of questions from their children. “It goes up very quickly, especially when a news story reaches the community, be it children, parents or teachers. Each time, it’s a tragedy. This highlights the fact of not having been able to protect a child. It also feeds the feeling of insecurity, but, fortunately, these events are rare, the majority acts of violence take place in the intra-family sphere”, recalls the association manager. Some of its adherents often wonder whether to talk about what happened. or quite simply avoid the subject so as not to generate fears.
Capacity of resilience
But to In the age of social networks and media coverage, it is certain that teenagers can no longer be put under glass. Smartphones, which their parents often bought for them to reassure themselves and know where to go. they happen to be, are also an open door to current events.
“Today there is a lot of information circulating, we are all aware of these facts. Before, they already existed, but we did not know it or less. The children know that this exists, you have to share the emotions with them in a healthy way, you have to reassure. On the other hand, if children are told 300 times a day to be careful, this can generate anxiety. You have to talk to them about it, remind them that there are safety rules; to respect, but do not create psychosis. It’s an in-between to find”, pleads Christine Barois, psychiatrist.
For this specialist in stress and anxiety, nothing should therefore be hidden, nothing concealed, it is rather necessary ;t show to her daughter or son that it’s possible to manage your emotions, “through breathing or meditation,” she cites as an example. “We live in a world where; one can be in danger. After the attacks of November 13, we were all careful before going to a concert hall. We've all been through crises, whether it's the attacks or the Covid, and it's been part of life. You have to rely on the ability to adolescent resilience. And then we also have in us this capacity; forgotten,” concludes the psychiatrist who believes that solidarity in those moments can play an important role.