Porn was her life. At the age of 14, he was already trapped in a world that robbed him of his life. peace of him and nearly drives him insane. “I didnt sleep looking at magazines and ‘frequency’ to satisfy my ‘need’ morbid & rdquo ;. This is how he begins his conversation with LISTÍN DIARIO, the man who today is 32 years old, has a successful university career and a beautiful family made up of him, his wife and three children.
It was one of his cousins who introduced him to that world that he considers fatal. “I tell you that it is so. because for me it was. What started like a game, it ended with psychological and even psychiatric sessions that lasted a long time. I ate little and did not sleep. Sometimes sleep overcame me, but it was very difficult.” Nor is it easy to tell. When he does, his eyes fill with tears because he admits that it is the saddest part of his life.
Dressed in a gray suit and sitting in a comfortable chair behind a large desk, Francisco, as he identified himself, admits that, although it is embarrassing for him, he wanted to bring up the subject because he knows that there are many children. You, girls, adolescents, young people and even adults lost in that world.
“And I want it to be clear, it is not only adolescents and young people who are lost in pornography. There are many ‘old men’ who see this as a sexual stimulant and don’t realize the damage they do to themselves, and sometimes they do others with this.”
Ex-addicted to pornography
“I don’t want anyone to go through what I went through. When I went to school, I was crazy to come to see that crap. Over time the technology allowed me to fall further into the hole. I did not leave the Internet, but without stopping to see magazines and everything that allowed me to be in contact with this vice, which is as dangerous and harmful as drugs & rdquo ;. Touching this point, he alleges that he has children and that he is vigilant so that none of his little ones go through this.
“MY MOM&Acute HE NEGLECTED ME, BUT THEN HE HELPED ME”
Francisco’s mother’s job was very demanding at the time. As he tells it, she believed that with food, education, and clean, quality clothing, she was already fulfilling her role. & ldquo; Sometimes I heard her say: & lsquo; if my son is calm, he does not leave the house & rsquo ;. He did not realize that the danger was inside the house, that what he had to do was find a way to get me out of that room.” He says this with obvious pain, although he assures that he does not hold a grudge.
When he makes this part clear that he has no resentment, he does so because he understands that every father, that every mother must be aware of what their children do and see. “In fact, when the person who spoke to you You told me about my case. about dealing with the subject, I did not refuse. That it is a cumbersome issue, it is, but I want my story to serve to prevent cases like mine, more serious, or mild cases that can become complex.”
Despite the fact that he says this quote forcefully, his voice cracking as he looks back and finds himself immersed in the world that stole from him. his adolescence and part of his youth.
“You know why? I get like this, because the person addicted to pornography lives practically alone, in his universe, the less people there are in the house the better, and the less he goes out the more he feeds his vice. This is going to sound great, but I have to say it, those who have a drug addiction, at least get together with others to buy it and share the addiction, but pornography as I experienced it and as many experience it other people, it isolates you, it makes you do things that threaten your body and your mind”. He breathes a sigh of relief at being out of that “prison” that sentenced him to madness or death.
His mother, to whom he attributes a great responsibility, because he only lived with her, was also the person who helped him. to “get out of the hole”. & ldquo;She realized one day that I already defeated myself and stayed behind. he was asleep and unresponsive. She looked for the key to the room, he entered the room. and she saw all the virtual sex pages that she had open, because the technology pushed me. even more to that practice. It didn’t wake me up. He waited for the next day and he questioned me. “She told me: & lsquo; because you don’t want to study or go out or do anything’. With great courage he warned me ‘Today I make the appointment to take you to the psychologist.’ so she did it and today I am a man free from that vice, I graduated, and I am a good example for my three children & rdquo ;. this happened when Francisco was 19 years old and five years old with addiction.
ADDICTION, HE BECAME ADDICTION IN A MAN OF PRINCIPLES
“Having freed myself from the addiction to pornography has made me a more cautious man, it has made me a good husband and a present father.” Satisfied with what he has achieved, Francisco, the protagonist of this story, understands that it is never too late to rehabilitate himself from any vice he may have. “It is a matter of admitting the problem, allowing oneself to be helped and making the effort to move forward”.
He says this because the step taken to overcome the addiction was not easy. “The first day my mother and I went to therapy, I was very embarrassed. The psychologist told me that I shouldn’t feel that way, because young people sometimes fall into situations of this nature and that doesn’t mean that they have killed someone. She told me that I was winning in the solution for having agreed to go to the consultation. I was motivated enough & rdquo ;. This is the only time that Francisco takes out his delicate white handkerchief with the initials of his name. The F of the name he gave was not among them.
He dries his tears and continues this story that he classifies as a preventive contribution so that fathers and mothers are more aware of their children. She stands up and goes to a small refrigerator that she has in the office and politely says: & ldquo;& iquest;Would you like a juice, water, tea? Is it cold, or should I order a coffee? what? I’m inattentive! I hadn’t offered him anything and we talked so long”. He smiles and, given the answer that no, that everything was fine, he insists without success. He returns to his chair with a glass of water, takes a long drink, and follows his story. “I am a lucky man. God, my mother and the specialists helped me straighten up.” He is silent for a few seconds.
THE REHABILITATION
When he breaks the silence, he talks about the long process he went through. in order to free yourself from addiction. “At first it was hard to get away from those images. Everything was slow and that created a lot of anxiety, depression, everything… It is that it is decided to combine psychological therapies with pharmacological ones, and a psychiatrist enters the scene, who is the person you know and who put us in contact.
He helped me. I had enough to control those emotions that pushed me to see those images again. I was nervous that I got, I trembled, I sweated. Ufffff, I was going crazy & rdquo ;. On this occasion, he takes a deep breath and, pointing his index finger around his office, says: “And look where I am now, with a good job and being a man of principle.”
It is important to record that the protagonist of this story ended up He graduated from high school at the age of 20 because as a result of his “vice” did not progress in studies. At 21-something, he signed up at the university as part of the therapy given by the specialists to “get out of the hole.” It is during the time he is in college that he meets a girl and they start a relationship that lasted 12 months. no more than six months. Later, it coincided in one of his subjects with another young woman. “We understood each other from the first day. We became boyfriends, we lasted almost three years of love, I graduated from college. I died at 26, and we hoped she would finish too, and then we got married. A year later we had our first baby, who is three years old, and a year ago we became parents of beautiful twins.” It shows the family photo of her, in which she is also shy. her mother, and she stares at her to close with: & ldquo; My life, my treasure, my perfect world, the one I want other people who are going through what I went through to achieve.” Concludes the man who only said of his father: “He must be out there.”
See also: Ex-porn addict publishes manual to beat the “silent epidemic”